Over the years, I’ve developed the habit of being selective of who I share my goals with for various reasons and along with that, I am especially selective of when I choose to tell them. For the most part, I do it to protect myself because sometimes ideas can be too premature to share with the world and the fears of others can be projected onto our visions which can lead to us feeling insecure or inadequate to move forward with birthing the vision.
Has that ever happened to you?
Now, I have loosened up a little bit in this department but I still proceed with caution. If you’re goal-driven and have big dreams that you are in pursuit of then you know that our dreams become almost like our babies, making it natural to become overprotective of them. But have you ever had a time where you knew you could not solve a problem on your own or you knew that it was best to seek wise counsel but you did not?
Usually what holds us back from seeking advice or sound wisdom is pride because anything that reminds us of an inadequacy we have, we will naturally tend to dismiss. If you look back at your life and look at your biggest mistakes or biggest regrets, I can almost guarantee that there was someone in your life who saw it coming. Perhaps it was a relationship that you had absolutely no business being in, a job offer that you should have denied, multitude of nights of heavy drinking or a school that you should have gone to. Whoever did see your error, probably did not tell you because they figured that you wouldn’t listen or perhaps they did tell you and you did exactly as they thought.
Of course we learn from our mistakes and all things will work out for our good in the end, but why is that we can see the faults in the lives of others but can never seem to see them in our own?
Often, our emotions can fog our judgment and due to our pride, it can be very difficult and humbling to seek the wise counsel of others. Once you do seek their advice, they are probably going to say what you already know is for your best but you just do not want to hear.
I know I am not the only one who has been there before!
Well, it’s time to put on your “big girl” panties and seek wisdom where you need to. Maybe you need to talk to some people about decisions in your career or your relationships or your business or your family or your finances or your mental health. Isolation is the tool of the enemy because we do not grow in isolation, we grow in community. It’s pertinent to our personal development that we surround ourselves with people who we can discuss important matters with who are going to give us wise, just, fair and honest wisdom. I understand that experience is our greatest teacher but remember that growing old is mandatory, growing wise in optional.
Have people in your life who you can seek wisdom from for different matters. If you need financial advice, speak to someone who is financially savvy. If you need relationship advice, speak to someone who is in a healthy relationship. If you need business advice, speak to someone who has a thriving business.
We need to have people in our lives who will hold us accountable and we need to be that friend, mentor, professional relationship or colleague who will also hold others accountable. Hearing only your voice, all of the time, can lead to some mistakes that could have been avoided.
I’m not telling you to seek counsel on every decision in life as certain choices are best if kept silent. However, it’s time to have a personal board of directors or board of counsel who you can call on who will tell it like it is in a loving way. Don’t be afraid to switch up who you speak to as well. If you only have two friends that you discuss all of your issues with, try to develop relationships with new people who you gain a fresh perspective from.
At the end of it all, it will ultimately be your decision but we have to understand that no one succeeds all alone, everyone has a team in the background that has encouraged them to push through even when the going got tough.
Who will choose to be on your board of counsel?
XOXO,
Maria I. Melendez
@embraceherlegacy