I know we go through our days with plenty of “Hey, how are you?” greetings and we hear the same response: “OK. How are you?” We usually say things like, “good, fine, alright, peachy, wonderful, etc.” no matter how we’re REALLY doing. Most people aren’t really asking how you’re doing in that sense; it’s just a nice pleasantry.
If we’re very honest about our mental and emotional states, I think we would all agree that more often than we’d like, we’re not Ok. We wear the smile and play the part, but deep inside something is awry. Something feels sad, or anxious, or missing. As a matter of fact, life could actually be going quite well. You’ve got a decent job, loving partner, good kids, money for Starbucks lattes and a cool pair of jeans; yet, when you lie your head down on the pillow at night to go to sleep, there’s still a nagging feeling of….blah.
You can’t shake the feeling
You can’t quite put your finger on why you can’t shake it or where it stems from. During the days you don’t notice it as much due to busyness with work and engaging with people. Sometimes the feeling pulsates stronger than others. Some people drink, pop pills, or try to dull the ache with some sort of temporary fix. Some people embrace it and dance with it often.
I’m reminded of a time when I was going through a literal emotional hell in my late 30’s. At a time when all was supposed to be going well in life, I was wallowing in self-pity, depression, fear, shame, and much more. I’d always taken pride in “being Ok”. I was the strong one; the one who did it all right. Until my dam burst and I was forced by some invisible force or God or something to deal with all the pain and junk I’d stuffed since my childhood. I was having a breakdown, yet every time someone said, “Hey! How are you?” I would smile and say, “Great! How are you?” A lie. A cowardly lie.
OMG, I’m going crazy!
I received two enlightening books after struggling deep inside for a couple of years and they really opened my eyes to a new concept: I wasn’t going crazy. They were “Broken Open” by Elizabeth Lesser and “You’re Not Going Crazy…You’re Just Waking Up!” by Michael Mirdad. Both books discussed how this journey of life is simply a journey of “waking up” and the struggles, frustrations, unexpected twists, and even the wonderful times are simply part of the process the soul goes through for transformation.
I tell you they were eye opening for me and I wished I would have been able to see the truth of it all while I was face down in tears for too many years. Mirdad discusses the Five Stages of the Soul Transformation and after reading the book I could see how I went through each of those stages through my darkest years. The journey to liberation and enlightenment or consciousness really is a dark to light journey; you just don’t always know it until you get through it.
So if you’re at the point where you don’t feel like things are going Ok, rest assured that they will be. Whatever it is you’re going through right now or have been going through are teaching you lessons about yourself, life, and love. If you’re pressing through and not resorting to numbing the pain through addictive measures, your consciousness is expanding and you’re growing spiritually.
The soul longs to grow and expand. As you journey, you will face dark times and things won’t always be Ok, but you’re able to grow through it all, become stronger, more loving, and wiser. If you’re at a spot where you aren’t Ok, feel what you have to feel and allow change to come. Maybe you’ve got old hurts that need healed. Perhaps you’re being stretched to become a more giving person. Or maybe at your core you simply just crave more intimacy with the Divine or the Divine aches for intimacy with you.
Things don’t always go as planned
The world does not revolve around us
Feel the nudge beneath the surface
Embrace it and don’t run
Acknowledge the spiritual path
Allow the breeze to flow through you
Heal the old wounds
Let go of all that does not serve you
You’re not alone, crazy, or a failure
You’re just waking up!
