There’s an ancient verse that says, “You have not because you ask not.”
For one reason or another, many of us are taught that asking for help is a complete no-no! As a woman, you are supposed to be strong which means that no matter how bad it gets you have to act like everything is sweet although you are breaking down inside, angry and frustrated.
Which means that you are next in line for a blow up or a breakdown.
We were taught that strength as a woman means that you never acknowledge the need for help and you better not let anyone know you’re struggling because that means you’re “weak.” That’s a lie!
That’s pride! Thinking that you can do everything on your own and that all you need is yourself. Lately, I’ve had the courage to ask instead of waiting for others to offer and even asking God not just to help me endure but to deliver!
And you know what’s happening, I’m getting what I want. Have the courage to ask, let go of your pride because that’s the first thing that God will break on your journey of fulfilling your purpose.
I’m not only talking about getting bold in your prayers but also in any emotional healing that you need. If you’re broken hearted, bitter, fearful or angry – ask God to help you heal. See where we can go wrong is thinking that as long as we work on our careers, finances and social media brands that we’re good. However, those are only the exterior and can be used as masks to cover up wounds. Especially for my ladies who are looking to get married soon…
You can have a successful business, can slay like queen B, know how to cook a mean rack of lambs, can clean the floors until you see your reflection, be educated, have great credit with a 6-figure salary and poppin’ career – and still be an insecure, wounded girl on the inside. The best thing you can do for your relationship is work on yourself.
I’m speaking from experience girl! When you start going to God about your husband or your man, God will start to deal with you and your heart. So if you know there’s some stuff that you need to deal with before you say, “I do” then do so.
Btw – there is nothing wrong with counseling or therapy either! So do what you have to do!
Oh and asking doesn’t stop in prayer or in emotional healing either – learn to exercise the power of asking on an every day basis.
Let’s say your student loan debt is looking pretty insane – have you ever thought to call them up and ask for a decrease in your monthly payment? Perhaps to even forgive some of your debt?
Or you have credit card debt that you want to pay off so you can finally build your credit in order to buy a house – have you ever called up your creditors to settle for a lesser amount?
At work, you want a promotion or a raise and you’re sitting around waiting for someone to acknowledge your hard work. Girl! In the corporate world, you’ll be waiting for a lifetime. Have you ever stopped to set-up a meeting with your boss (prepared with proof that you deserve this promotion of course) and ask for more money and your promotion? If you can’t get that then have you thought of maybe negotiating some more vacation time or being the project manager on more projects?
You can no longer allow fear of judgment, rejection or criticism stand in between you and your goals!
The other day I was invited to a major, A-list event but the tickets were SUPER EXPENSIVE! Like 4-figures for one ticket. I’m all about investing into my mission but I didn’t see the value in it. So I did something that I normally never would have done out of shame, I asked for a complimentary ticket. I got an email back in less than 20 minutes confirming the comp ticket. What if I would’ve never asked?
If you’re enjoying brunch with your girls and you’ve order a few rounds of Mimosa’s – ask to see if you qualify for a free round or free dessert. You need an extension for a bill you need to pay – ask for it. You need help with your son’s birthday party – ask your sister to cook something or ask someone to come help you set up. You want to expand your career as an actress and you know someone who is landing commercials left and right, ask him how he did it. You’ve booked your Air BnB for 6-nights in Thailand, well see if you can get a 7th night for free and ask if you can be upgraded to first-class on the flight.
Do you know the worst thing that can happen? You hear “no”! It’s not the end of the world when the answer is already “no” if you don’t ask.
Like I said, not asking is normally rooted in false pride. Not one successful person got to where they are alone. I’m almost certain that if you’re too cute or fearful to ask that you are probably angry and resentful. You can have, if you start asking.
Now I’m asking – do you need to set-up a Goals Coaching session with me for the month of September?
Maria I. Melendez
Founder & CEO