Secrets – we have all had them at one point or another. Lately, I have been looking at the hidden power that secrets can have in our lives and how harmful they can be to ourselves, our family, our self-esteem or our relationships if we allow our secrets to have power over us.
What you don’t know can hurt you. If there were special secrets about what it takes to truly become successful while attaining and obtaining wealth and you are not in on that secret – then guess what? Not knowing those secrets are going to have an adverse effect on your level of financial success. Or better yet – if you have had an indiscretion in your relationship and the other party does not know – guess what? Him or her not knowing that truth about one’s deceit is essentially him or her loving a lie because you are not intentionally unveiling who you are. Love speaks truth. It’s better to bruise a heart with the truth than to break one with a lie.
I wonder how much different this world would be if we honored our truths and took back the power of being held hostage to our secrets. It’s like we equate sharing our truth to being “weak” – but I believe it take strength to quit from hiding behind our masks of “perfection” and release the power from our secrets. What you hold in secret, will indeed have power over you.
In many of our upbringings, we are taught that “what happens in this house stays in this house.” This idea ignites a notion that secrets are shameful and we must put on the frontage of things always being fine in spite of how ugly things really are. We put on this mask of pretense and perfection because in actuality what we are dealing with is a major culprit called “fear.”
FEAR = False Evidence Appearing Real
We fear the judgment, rejection and ridicule from others. We fear being vulnerable and having others draw all sorts of judgments and conclusions over our lives. And once when we are judged or rejected, it leads to pain. No one likes pain. So in order to avoid it all and not face the fear of rejection, we put on our masks, hold onto our secrets, grab the guilt, shame and fear and go about living day to day not recognizing how doing so is actually detrimental and not helpful.
So if you have any secrets that you’re locking away in fear of rejection, judgment or ridicule, I want you to take back your power. That very thing that you are holding in secret could be the very thing that God can use to help inspire others. God has the power to turn your mess into a message. Trust me when I say this because I used to fear sharing my past about a teenage suicidal attempt, struggling with low-self worth and an abusive relationship. You do not know how many chains of fear are broken when I am transparent with my audience and honor my truth. The key is that I have learned that I have to be willing to go first and in me doing so; I am a first-hand witness of the wave of transparency, honesty and fearlessness occurring around me.
Plenty of times our adversary will try to use our past or our secrets to hold us in hostage to the fear, shame and guilt. The lies tell us that if we honor our truths, then we are weak and no one will love us. Or better yet we will lose the respect of loved ones. Well this is what I have to say to that. The only love that you can count on day after day is the love of God. God loved the world so much (that means EVERYONE) that He came down in human form as a servant, died on a cross and was resurrected so that we can have eternal life and have the privilege to call on the name of Jesus Christ. No matter what you do, God loves you UNCONDITIONALLY and I don’t care what you’ve been led to believe but God loves you no matter what you have done, are doing or will do. His love is unconditional. The love we get from our parents, supporters, family, friends and significant others can change but the love you have from Almighty God is unconditional and unchanging. God’s love is the same yesterday, today and forever. Thus, if you honor your truth and you lose the love of a loved one, then know that God’s grace is sufficient. His love is more than enough! And if someone dismisses you because you chose courage to no longer live in hostage to your secrets then maybe it’s best that they go.
Why would you want to be around someone who will not love you for you, all of you? When someone shows you who they are, believe them. Sometimes it’s best to love from afar; people come into your life for reasons, seasons or a lifetime. Many of times people come into our lives to teach us something, so learn the value in the lesson and embrace the promises of your future.
Finally, I want you to know that although honoring your truth may not be easy it will be worth it. I am not telling you to spill your guts to every other person you meet but I am telling you to no longer live in hostage to your secrets. Secrets do not only affect yourself but they also affect everyone around you. Whatever is built on a lie is subject to fail and you were created to win! I want you to learn from your past, acknowledge the beautiful opportunity of the present and look forward to all the promises of your future. It’s time for you to become the above average person that you were meant to be. I am on the same journey with you.
Keep shining and always embrace your legacy.
Maria I. Melendez