“Until we accept and approve of ourselves, no amount of approval of others will keep us permanently secure.”

I read this earlier last week and had such an a-ha moment. I know so many of us who battle with wanting and needing the approval of others in order to feel valuable and secure. And I completely understand because at the end of the day we all want to feel loved and worthy. In this day of social media, we are hit with so many images of perceived success, value and power. Those of us who are ambitious and fighting to make our dreams a reality, want it, and we want it now. We want success, but I want to ask you something. What does success mean to you? Think about it, I’ll wait.

Is your definition of success something that you decided or is it what the world defines as success? How do you choose to measure your success?

What I’m trying to get at here is that oftentimes our level of success is determined by what others feel is successful or what others say. If we don’t have enough followers on social media, thousands in our bank account, people at our launch event, or the approval of (insert a celebrity name here), then we are not succeeding. But who said so?

I believe that we want the success that the world defines and approval of others in order to believe that we are successful; however, if you do not value and approve of yourself then you will always be looking for the next thing to make you feel better, worthy and successful. It’s almost as if you are looking for your next high which is no different from a drug-addict who goes around looking for the next hit to make him or her high again. So many of us can be going from goal to goal, event to event, looking for our next high in order to feel better about ourselves. You get 1000 followers, now you won’t be happy until you get 10,000. You sold 300 copies of your book and now you won’t be satisfied until you sell 1,000. I’m not telling you to set goals and achieve them but be clear on the intention of your goals. Are you trying to keep up with anyone else? Are you trying to prove the world that you are successful? Are you trying to get the approval of others? Most of who shouldn’t even matter anyway.

You are whole, worthy and valuable just as you are. Your circumstances or what others have to say about you should not dictate how you feel about yourself. If you value success, then you are going to have to be willing to pay the price for it and if that means no one shows up to your first event, you lose money for the first (2) years of your business, you’re still living at home because you rather save money or you have 10 followers on social media then so be it. Success is a journey and should be measured by you only. If others do not approve of what you’re doing then know that how they feel is between them and God. As long as you are giving it your best, investing into your future and taking advantage of every day you have to grow then you are well on your way!

Do I have major goals? Absolutely! Do I want to make a huge impact on this world? Of course. But I am learning that it’s my journey and I cannot allow the approval of others to make me or break me. I refuse to give my power away to another to judge or reject me. My value and worth is in the fact that God is with me, He loves me, He is for me and He has plans to prosper me and not to fail me. If the creator of the universe thinks I’m awesome, then why will I allow someone else’s opinion of me change my opinion of me? He is ordering my steps so I’m pretty sure that He knows what He’s doing.

Focus on your journey, measure your own success and smile because you are being molded and prepared to do what you’ve been called to do. Your time is now, embrace each moment and continue to put one foot in front of the other!


Maria I. Melendez