I love this quote by Wayne Dyer: “Self-worth comes from one thing- thinking that you are worthy.”

The level of your self-worth will affect so many areas of your life: your relationships, career, aspirations, spirituality, etc. Most women struggle with insecurity at one time or another, but it is important to be able to understand how the lack of feeling confident can affect your life.

To be insecure means that you lack confidence in one or more areas of your life.  To come to a point of becoming less insecure and more confident, it will take a commitment to honestly look at your core beliefs and take steps to change them.  You must take responsibility for your power, confidence level, and potential.  After all, you have immense potential to be and do anything you want in life!

Insecurity can affect your relationships, career potential, growth level, and more.  Here are some tips for you to consider in order to free yourself from little to big insecurities that you may be holding onto.

Surrender to the truth.  Eleanor Roosevelt said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”  Surrender to the truth that you are responsible for how you feel. Don’t put the blame on your dysfunctional childhood, rude partner, bad luck, etc.  If you carry around the victim mentality, you will continue to struggle with insecurities and your personal and professional growth will be stunted emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.

Allow healing to begin.  Most likely you have insecurities because of unfortunate situations or hurtful things that happened to you in the past.  You may have been hurt emotionally by a family member or spouse.  Maybe the kids at school made fun of you. Perhaps your friends let you down.  Think about the things that happened to you that made you begin to feel sad, fearful, or angry.

Process the feelings, forgive anyone who needs forgiven, and let the negative emotions go. Allow healing to begin in your heart. You must let go of the past and the negative feelings associated with it if you want to experience freedom and more confidence. As you do, you will begin to feel happier and more confident.

Change your thought pattern. A belief is just a thought that you keep thinking.  Do you believe that you are unworthy of success?  Do you believe that people don’t love you? That you’ll never get ahead? That you’re too damaged, too shy, too lazy, too unfortunate, or too late to find happiness and success in life?  All of those beliefs you have owned because of the negative thoughts you’ve been thinking up until this day.

If you’re experiencing insecurities such as fear and doubt, you are surely thinking fearful and doubtful thoughts.  You must change your thought pattern to break free from such insecurities.  Changing your thought pattern is easier than you think.  Take a couple of days and monitor your thought life.  Take note of your negative thoughts. Write them down and then cross them out and replace with a positive thought that counteracts the negative one.

If you tend to think:

“I’ll never get that promotion”, cross it out and write, “That promotion is mine!”

If you think, “I’ll never find a guy that will love me”, cross it out and write, “I am beautiful and lovable. What guy wouldn’t want to be with me?” 

Every time you catch a negative thought coming into your mind, mentally shout, “Stop!” and recite the positive affirmation out loud.  Do this over and over until positive thinking becomes habitual for you.  Doing so will certainly help you to overcome your insecurities.

Be proactive in raising your self-esteem.  If you have some insecurities, you’re self-esteem is lacking.  Make a commitment to become more confident by engaging in behaviors and activities that accomplish this.

If you want to be more confident in your career, take time every day to invest in becoming an expert in your field.  As you do, you will be less insecure and more confident.  You can also change up your business wardrobe, as dressing to impress actually increases your confidence level and other people will look at you as more professional.

If you want to be more confident in your relationship, be sure to discuss all issues honestly and openly with your partner.  Set appropriate boundaries.  If you are wrestling with things like jealousy or the fear of abandonment, do some research on these topics and allow relationship experts to teach you how to be your best in a relationship.

Visualize rock solid confidence.  Visualization is a powerful tool that you can use to become the confident person that you desire to be.  Many successful men and women have envisioned their success long before it manifested.  Mental imagery is an easy avenue to create forward momentum to becoming all that you want to be.

See yourself confident, abundantly happy, peaceful, thriving, advancing in your career, experiencing financial abundance, and in relationship harmony with everyone.  Do this as often as you’d like- in the morning, at the office, sitting on your porch, and while you lie in bed at night.


Remember, what you think and see in your mind becomes a reality. Think positive thoughts and see your desired results NOW.  As you continually do these, you will be able to say goodbye to insecurity and hello to sweet confidence- and that is something to smile about.


About the Author
Dominica Applegate is a self-employed writer who loves to write about mental health, relationships, success principles, spirituality, and fitness.  Merging a BS in Psychology, MA in Counseling, and fifteen years’ experience as a mental health professional, she’s gained a great deal of experience helping others reach their full potential. She is the founder of Extreme Life Potential blog, which is dedicated to encouraging, motivating, and empowering others to reach their full potential by redefining who they are from the inside out.