I was on the fence about what I should focus on for this week’s message as I mentioned to my boyfriend that I wanted to focus on managing emotions and he immediately agreed. His exact words were “Yea, women could use that, you know how y’all are.” I laughed it off but then I realized that he was actually on point with that comment.
As much as we like to put on our superhero capes on and go out into the world to be the best women we can be, we have to face the fact that we as women are indeed emotional creatures and our emotions are part of the exact essence of being a woman. We are, by nature, nurturers, helpers and encouragers. Our determination to become our best in ourselves, our homes and our careers inspires me on a daily basis. However, just as with anything else, there is a flip side to our emotions which can be an impediment to our wholeness, growth, peace of mind and security.
Emotions can be tricky sometimes because they are personal. You are indeed entitled to experience and share your truth in a situation but that does not make it the truth. Just because you “feel a way” does not mean that “that” emotion that you are experiencing is the absolute truth in a particular circumstance. Many of our decisions we make are influenced by how we feel instead of what we know. And every decision you make is a value judgment. Your decisions are a direct reflection of what you value.
We fail when we do not have some sort of lens to identify why we may “feel a way” or have the ability to clearly articulate it and thus allow our emotions to control our behavior. The behavior of which is oftentimes impulsive, irrational, irresponsible and sometimes self-destructive. Part of growing as woman is getting to know who you are and identify your triggers so you can then better deal with your emotions while in the heat of the moment.
Let me share an example.
Let’s say your friend makes a comment that you do not like and it made you feel inferior. Your feelings are hurt and you feel that your friend thinks that she is better than you. However, the real problem may be that you may have some issues with believing that you are worthy and you allow others people opinion of you to define you instead of your own. But instead of thinking of it like that, you think your friend is being judgmental when in fact you’re judging yourself. Your friend could have made the comment harmlessly without any malicious intent. But in your mind, your emotions have led you to think otherwise. See what I mean when I say you cannot always trust your emotions as truth?
Following our emotions can lead us to do things that may not be the best for our well-being. You cannot always do what you feel like doing because you will probably never get it done or you’ll probably do something irrational if you always follow your emotions. Learn to control your emotions. You may not be able to control how you feel but you can always choose how you will reach to those emotions. Manage your emotions; do not let them manage you.
XOXO,
Maria I. Melendez
@embraceherlegacy