I’ve come to believe that there are two different types of people in this world. There is the person who makes something happen and the other who watches others make things happen. I’m constantly checking to see what the difference between these people is and there are several differences that I have noticed. A group of people can be “dealt the same cards of life” but then only a few manage to rise up and lead their lives to the optimal place that they want, refusing to settle along the way. Along with being driven, focused, disciplined and hard-working, I have also noticed this key factor – they are NOT scared to go outside of their comfort zone, meet new people and build meaningful relationships.
This is such a great character trait to have. However, I see many of us ladies who can be scared, timid or who fear rejection when it comes to building relationships with new people to create a star-studded network. I’ve noticed that most of life’s greatest opportunities will come your way from the people that you know. The power in relationships is beyond anything that you can imagine. It’s the reason people can keep a job they should have lost or get a job that they are under-qualified for. I have seen it happen dozens of times and I’m sure that you have too.
I’m a relational person so one of my core strengths is building relationships with other people which I know may not come easy to those of you who are a little more introverted. I believe I have a FANTASTIC group of people in my network who are not only incredible at what they do and who are remarkable people, but who also support me. When I think about how blessed I am to know them, I am humbled with gratitude. I think that one of the major reasons that hinders some of us women from creating a powerful network is the fear of rejection so we sit comfortably in our circle of friends which we’ve known for years. There is nothing wrong with that but you should have a diverse group of people that you can talk to about relationships, career, business, finances, faith etc. This is about finding people who are in your “rhythm” and who can be an asset to your network in accordance to the vision you want to birth. If you are make-up artist with the intention of being a celebrity make-up artist then you should know other MUA’s, stylists, and media personnel. If you are an entrepreneur of a tech company, then you should know others “techies” and people in your industry.
So I am here to help you with a few special tips of how to build a star-studded network:
- Start where you are. There is always someone who you have access to who can help you get to where you want to go. Think of anyone you may know of that you want to further build with or perhaps someone you may know can introduce you to someone.
- Introductions are LIFE-SAVERS! People will pay attention to you more when someone they know and trust introduces you to them. Do not be afraid to ask for an introduction if someone you know has access to someone you want to meet.
- When meeting someone for the first time, extend your hand for a firm handshake, smile, look them in the eye and introduce yourself. This demonstrates confidence.
- Always have your business cards ready. I carry my cards with me EVERYWHERE I go; you never know when you may meet someone. Don’t be afraid to ask someone for their card either.
- FOLLOW UP! One of my pet peeves is when people say “O yeah, I’ll reach out to you,” only to never hear from them. If you say you are going to reach out to someone, then do it. Honor your word because whether or not you do is going to affect your reputation. Trust me when I say that word of mouth is powerful and people will warn others about you if you are someone who lacks consistency.
- How do you follow up after you get the business card? Glad you asked! It’s simple as sending them a simple email within a week of meeting them. You don’t want to do it the next day because you do not want to seem too aggressive. Wait a few days and send a simple email stating that it was nice to meet them, give them a recap of whatever words you shared when meeting and that you look forward to keeping in touch.
- Take it a step further. If you met this person and you have discussed connecting soon over lunch or coffee then hold people to their word. I do this because I want to show people how I want to be treated. As aforementioned, I’m not a fan of people not honoring their word so I hold people accountable to what they said. So I will simply state in the email something along the lines of setting up time to catch lunch or coffee soon.
- When you do finally get time with that person over the lunch or the coffee then make sure that you pick up the bill and do your homework on what the other person has accomplished. You want to have some sort of talking points in your head. Ask questions. This demonstrates that you care enough to do some research on the person before inviting them out.
- Please change the generic message on LinkedIn to something a little more specific when requesting people in your network. “Nice to meet you at…” or “We went to the same school and I wanted to reconnect.” You want to be specific so people can recognize you.
- Get to know people! At the end of the day, you want to connect with people. Get to know who they are, where they grew up, if they have any children etc. You may find commonalities that you share which can be an aspect that you can discuss more and build upon. People want to know that they matter and it’s our job to do so. Be authentic with people and be someone who can serve them.
I can literally go on and on here but I will stick with these (10) points for now. The most important factor is to get over the fear of rejection when meeting new people. Another person’s opinion of you shouldn’t change your opinion of you. Be yourself. Be a woman of integrity who is committed to excellence and others will take notice.
As always, it’s my honor to serve!
XOXO,
Maria I. Melendez
@embraceherlegacy