If you haven’t noticed, I’ve been a little quiet for the past few days. I’m actually coming off from celebrating my 32nd birthday and I needed to take some much needed time to reflect.
Isn’t it funny how you can think that all is well in your life until something happens to reminds you of your weaknesses and frailty as a woman? I don’t know about you but I have a problem being “weak” or making mistakes; like most of us I have been deceived into thinking that I have to be strong all of the time at all costs in order to protect myself. But what I’ve learned is that desire to pursue perfection is nothing but another form of bondage.
You are not perfect nor will you ever be and the desire to walk in perfection is often rooted in fear – the fear of rejection, disappointment, pain or judgement. That’s when I was reminded that “perfect love casts out all fear.” God’s love for you is greater than your fears.
Whatever it is that you may fear, I want you know that every time you meditate on it in your mind, you are giving that fear the power to manifest in your life. There comes a point where you have to make the decision to grow from being a girl to becoming a woman – and that doesn’t happen when you buy your first home, move into your first apartment, get married or have children – becoming a woman happens when you decide to mature.
All change in your life begins with a decision and is followed by a process.
One of the things I realized in my solitude and after a series of events that transpired over the last few days was that I was thinking like a “scared girl” instead of like the woman of God that I know that I am. I was still allowing the same fears to plague me. I was still giving room for negative thinking in my life because I was allowing what I see to frustrate my faith. I recognized that I was allowing the opposition that I’ve experienced to steal my faith and challenge the beliefs that I had about God, His promises for me, my dreams and my destiny.
While sitting at the kitchen table in the home of one of my dear friends and mentors, she looks to me and says this, “Maria, it’s time to grow up. It’s time to make the decision to mature. You can’t fight this battle the way you’ve been doing and you need to make that decision tonight.” I didn’t understand what she meant until she prayed for me and all of a sudden I felt the overwhelming presence of God unction me to let go of all fears and no longer be intimidated by whatever opposition I was being faced with. In that moment, I magnified God’s power and promises instead of my circumstances. I started to declare with my mouth what it was that God has promised me. I declared that I would see every promise made to me realized…in spite of whatever the giant in front of me was trying to intimidate me into thinking.
Here’s the thing. Your opposition knows you very well and will keep attacking the same areas in your life because it knows it can get a reaction out of you or better yet, get you to participate in your own demise and sabotage yourself.
Where is it in your life that you keep getting tempted to quit? What is it that’s intimidating you that doesn’t allow you to consistently fight and believe? What scary thing is screaming and taunting at you telling you that it’s never going to happen?
Perhaps you grew up in a broken home and your scary giant is telling you that you’ll never meet your husband and build a happy life together. Perhaps you’ve submitted your manuscript to 25 publishers and your giant is telling you that your book will never get published and you keep giving into defeat. Maybe your health has taken a toll and your giant is telling you that you’re not going to make it. Maybe you’ve been contemplating suicide because you’ve lost all hope that your situation can get any better. Maybe your brother who is addicted to drugs is on his 3rd stint in rehab and you don’t believe that things will ever change for him.
Maybe your boss keeps triggering your nerves and the hopes for that promotion are slim to none and you keep crying about it. Maybe you want to take that leap of faith to start that business but your bank account is screaming “You can’t make it happen”, so you keep reporting to a job that you hate in tears. Maybe you keep reacting to the same people who spread lies about you by yelling, screaming and going off the handle instead of growing up and walking away.
I don’t know what’s been triggering you lately. I don’t know what fear has you in bondage. I don’t know what giant is screaming at you in the middle of the night causing nightmares but this is a message for you to serve notice on that giant and make a decision to grow up and mature in how you choose to respond to those triggers.
Your enemy is going to attack the same places over and over again until he doesn’t get a reaction out of you. Until you pass the test, you will never progress to the next level. And the change happens in your mind first. You can’t wait until you are married to become a wife…start thinking like one in spite of what your current love life looks like. You can’t wait until you see a multi-million dollar business until you believe that you can build one…start to believe that your hair-care business is already on sale at every Walgreen’s. You can’t wait until your boss stops nagging you until you believe that you have that promotion…believe that corner office is yours anyway.
Girls are easily rattled by whatever opposition they experience. They give into their emotions and lack discipline. As a result of that lack of discipline, girls experience unnecessary pain that weighs tons instead of the pain of discipline that weighs ounces. Girls “clap back” to any little insult, are stricken with fear and are easily offended.
Women know how to manage their emotions. Women know that if God is for me, who dare be against me? Women believe in spite of what they see or feel nor is she easily offended. Women are not easily swayed by momentary feelings or discouragement, we understand that we have a battle to fight that’s so much greater than ourselves. Women don’t feel the need to vindicate themselves because they know that God will always step in and do what only He can. A woman trusts her God and believes His promises.
Don’t feel crazy either because I didn’t know I had little girl tendencies until a few days ago but I made the decision to mature and change my thinking. Just like my sis told me, I’m telling you…it’s time to make the decision to grow up!
Maria I. Melendez
Founder & CEO
Embrace Her Legacy