Happy International Women’s Day to you! This is our day to celebrate what makes us each beautiful, bright, strong, powerful and unstoppable! Being a woman isn’t always easy in a world where our voices can go unheard and we can often get overlooked for opportunities in education and in the workplace. Nevertheless, we’re still thriving, advocating, and kicking butt along the way so this is my personal salute to you lady!

As women, we are naturally nurturers who want to give and often give the very last of ourselves in our careers, education, family, relationships, organizations, or churches. Whatever it is, you name it and we’ll give our 100%. However, is there a place in your life that you’re giving and giving and what you’re getting back isn’t worth what you’re putting in?

Maybe you’ve been giving all of your mind, time, energy and groundbreaking ideas to your job and for the past year you’ve been overlooked for promotions several times and still aren’t making the desired salary even after you’ve asked for a raise twice. Maybe there’s a relationship that you’ve been in for years, one that you’ve given your all to and he’s still isn’t committing to you the way you’re committed to him. Perhaps there’s a friend that you’re always there for but when the tables are turned and you need her, she’s never to be found.

These are all signals that it may be time to stop feeding what isn’t feeding you anymore and create change in your life. Many of us are petrified of change because it requires you to be uncomfortable and go into the land of the unknown but just because something is comfortable for you doesn’t mean that it’s the best option for you. That job may be comfortable but are you growing? Are you using your skills, talents and abilities to the best of its capacity? Is that guy you’re dealing with feeding your spirit, respecting you and making you a better woman while giving his all to you by making you a priority, not an option? Are you so scared to get a new circle of friends that will help you grow into your purpose that you’re willing to stay around a group of females who you’ve outgrown?

I hope not!

Change can be scary, I know. But change is not an event but a process that is followed after a decision.  Once you make the decision to stop feeding what isn’t feeding you then you will begin the process of change. There’s a season for everything and your next season of prosperity and blessings can be right after your decision to make a change. Make room for the new that you want to come into your life by deciding to eliminate what’s not working anymore. It may have been good for a season, but that season might be over.

On the flip side, you should always feed what’s feeding you. I actually heard this from Bishop TD Jakes the other day. Your colleague at work may be buying you lunch daily and instead of always taking and taking, try giving something back in return. You may watch motivational videos every day from your favorite speaker or receive weekly messages that have empowered you to grow in purpose and character – well, how about this week you feed them by buying one of their products or donating to their ministry. I watch Bishop TD Jakes almost every day as he’s one of my favorite pastors to learn from but then I realized I’ve never bought any of his books, given to his ministry or even shared one of his videos on social media. Realizing that I wasn’t feeding what was feeding me, I immediately decided to give a donation to his ministry because one thing I do understand is the power of sowing and reaping.

It’s time for us to learn how to give just as much as we take. You will always reap what you sow; and some of us are sowing into the wrong places and wonder why we’re reaping the hot mess we get in return.

Take some time to think if there’s any place in your life that you’re feeding that isn’t feeding you anymore or a place that you’ve been taking from and not giving in return. Decide what changes need to be made and stick with your decision!




Maria I. Melendez