Controlling Your Fears
Did you know that fear is the 2nd most powerful human emotion? I’m so sick of seeing fear hold us back from believing, receiving and seeing the best that life has to offer. Fear is such a liar and loves to come disguised in many ways, in particular, it loves to come disguised as being practical.
Being in bondage to any fear in your life stops today!
There are actually two types of fear. One is external fear which is what we feel when our outside circumstances are threatened – like if you wake up in the middle of the night to hear someone lurking around in your kitchen. Then, there are internal fears which are the imagined fears that play out in your mind. They usually come in form of threats of the future and are presented in our minds as all the negative probabilities that can happen.
After years of working with women, I’ve noticed that common internal fears we face include: fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of success, fear of pain, and fear of financial distress. These fears love to paint a picture of the worst possible scenarios. Instead of recognizing that these are fear-based thoughts, you fail to respond to your thoughts appropriately and proceed to meditate on the fear while believing it, receiving it and acting out on it.
Don’t feel bad if this is you because most of us have been programmed to think this way. Most of us who are in bondage are usually control-freaks because it’s a form of perceived protection.
Fear attracts negativity into your life because what you focus on, you empower to grow. Faith and fear are essentially the same thing; the only difference is that you believe for the worst in one and the best in the other. It’s the same muscle that you’re using because you have to believe something that you cannot see in this physical, tangible world yet. Instead of choosing to act out of fear, you could have stopped for a moment and chosen faith.
In a world where we like to be instantly gratified, having faith for the best can be such a challenge. Fear and common thinking says, “I won’t believe it until I see it” while faith says, “I believe it so I know I will see it.”
I want you to think about where in your life have you been in bondage to fear? What lies are you listening to in your mind that has held you back from experiencing the life that you deserve? Perhaps you really, really like a new guy that you’re dating but the fear of getting hurt again is holding you back from fully committing. Perhaps you really want to pursue a new career, but the fear of rejection from loved ones is keeping you in bondage to stay in a position that isn’t fulfilling you. Or maybe you want to become an entrepreneur but fear of financial lack and failure has stopped you from trying. If that’s the fear that you’re struggling with, I encourage you to have a “5 to 9” life. You may have a 9 to 5 but what are you doing after work? Are you just going home to watch TV and scroll through social media and wake up tomorrow to do it all over again? Everyone asks me how I transitioned from employed to entrepreneur and one of the ways I was able to do that was because I worked on my business after work and oftentimes during work.
After you’ve identified what fear has been taking control in your mind, I want you to get a journal, write that fear-based thought down and create a faith-filled, replacement thought. Every time that fear thoughts comes to your mind, replace it with that new faith thought. Speak it out loud if you have to. This is no longer about simply thinking positive, this about you learning to exercise the power of controlling your thoughts and fashioning your thoughts to work for you and no longer against you.
Don’t be so hard on yourself either because it takes research shows that it takes 3 cycles of 21 days to break a bad thought habit. You may want to start on transforming one thought at a time so that you can grow in confidence. I told you that the 2nd most powerful human emotion is fear, and I know you’re thinking what’s the 1st one? It’s love! You’re going to have to let the love for your best life to drive the desire to defeat your fears.
You wouldn’t tolerate a liar who always comes to destroy what you’re working on to continue to be in your life would you? So why keep allowing fear to do the same?
You got this!
Maria I. Melendez