What’s the first thing that you do when you wake up?
If you’ve been following me for a while, then you know that I’m a stickler of morning routines.
This morning was no different. The first thing I did was grab my phone (even though I DO NOT recommend) doing this. You might want to spend time with yourself or with God before answering emails, texts or looking at social media – I promise that you’ll feel a lot better.
I grabbed my phone because I read a devotional that comes to my email every morning. Then I have a list of affirmations I speak over myself and my day that are hidden inside of the “Notes” section of my phone.
Instead of reading those affirmations, something told me to read over an exercise where I answered a vital question which most of us rarely take the time to write out the answer to.
The question was “What do I want out of life?”
Reading my answer brought utter joy. It was a pretty lengthy answer but it felt like I was reading a prayer. I made a promise to myself that anything that does not align with this vision should not be something that I focus on.
And you know what felt really good? As I read the list, I realized that I was already living and working towards what I really wanted. I had a little epiphany this morning – my life has meaning and today is meaningful because I am getting better and closer day by day.
“Today will be a good day.” I thought to myself.
There are these nasty, little gremlins in your mind which tell you that because your life may be ordinary or not lived in front of a camera, that your life is meaningless. Then those same ugly gremlins bring other gremlin friends that lie to you telling you that you are not worthy and that the only way to bring joy or meaning to your life is to accomplish (insert accomplishment here.)
I won’t be worthy until I lose this weight.
I’m not worthy until I get married.
I’m not worthy until I finish my education.
My life is meaningless unless I have at least 20,000 followers.
My work does not matter because I’m not famous.
I’m not really a photographer until I start making money from it.
I’ll be worthy once I get out debt.
I’ll be worthy when I start making my dream salary and have my dream job.
My life will have meaning once I have children.
My work or business is meaningless until I start making money from it.
Any of these gremlins sound familiar? Yep, I thought them all the time too until recently.
Especially that last one – I would constantly place the meaning of my work on how much money I was making from it. Forget the fact that I’m changing lives around the world, where’s the money at?
What a piece of crap! I am doing exactly what I want to and on the path to living out exactly what I want from life…and transforming lives along the way. I think I’m doing alright.
You are worthy and your life has meaning – right now, just the way you are. If you place the meaning of your life in some sort of accomplishment then will you ever be permanently secure? The key is to fully live a life where you know that without a shadow of doubt that you are worthy of the best and your life has meaning – even if it is ordinary!
I want you to answer this question that I learned about in Brene Brown’s book, Gifts of Imperfection – which is where I learned about these gremlins who I had become far too friendly with.
When do things feel most right in your life? When do you experience the most joy and meaning?
When you answer this, you’ll be surprised at your answers. I can also bet that it won’t be when you overwork yourself trying to make being busy serve as a sign of self-worth or while you’re climbing up the corporate ladder.
When I answered this question, I had things like “listening to Biggie”, “planning surprise parties for my friends”, “when I see how a girl I’m mentoring with looks at me with adoration in her eyes” and “being around pretty things like flowers and the color pink.”
Once you answer this, I want you to make a commitment to doing more of whatever you placed on your list. You find joy in giving? Then give someone $20 randomly. You find joy in looking good? Go buy yourself a nice dress. You find joy in listening to ratchet music? Get in your car, put the music on extremely loud and sing your ass off!
Do more of what brings you joy in order to start living the life of meaning that you desire. Take it up notch and answer this question, “What do I really want out of life?” Not what the world tells me I should want, but what do I really want?
Write every last thing that you want. Are you on the journey to fulfill it? Then give yourself props. If not, then use this list as your catalyst of change. Don’t beat yourself up about it because you are moving forward in change.
I’m so tired of us beating ourselves up and allowing the gremlins to steal our worthiness. As you work on becoming your best you, you will attract your best life.
You are worthy and your life has meaning…now.
Maria I. Melendez
Founder & CEO
Embrace Her Legacy