A few weeks ago one of my good friends, Dana Blair (who you may know as the host for ESSENCE Live), asked me to me to one of the featured women in her groundbreaking movement, I Have Never Been That Girl.
My feature, which you can watch here, was released earlier this month. I’ve received nothing but overwhelming support for sharing my story. Along with deciding to leave my “dream job” to pursue my purpose, one of the things I discuss in my interview for the very first time is surviving a suicide attempt as a teenager. I wrote about it in my book but this was the first time I ever discussed it openly on such a grand platform. I mentioned the catalyst of my triumph over that time in my life happening when a friend came to visit me in the hospital during my recovery. He told me something that lives in my heart forever, “God has you here for a reason and your life has a purpose.”
Up until that point in my life, no one had ever told me something like that. At that time I really didn’t have the capacity to understand it but although my relationship with God was pretty much non-existent, something inside of me knew that what he was saying was true. After that moment, I realized that I had some sort of purpose and I would do everything in my power to fulfill my assignment in spite of whatever odds I may face.
Too often we look at one another as women and judge each other while thinking that that woman is better than you or has no idea of what you’re going through. We scroll through that news feed and see each other getting engaged, getting married, releasing books, starting businesses, accomplishing goals and we compare our behind-the-scenes to their highlight reels. As a result, we can feel alone, confused and frustrated. I know these feelings all too well.
Those feelings are often coupled with feelings of inadequacy. Lying thoughts tell you that you’re doing something wrong, that you’re not working hard enough and then another set of nagging thoughts discourage you into thinking that your time will never come.
I’m here to tell you the very same thing my friend told me. Your life matters and you have a purpose that has long been predestined for you. All the pains that you experience are not happening to you but for you. You’re being shaped and molded into the woman you need to be to thrive at what you’ve been created to do.
Not every season in your life is going to be your season and you must learn to be fine with that. But the wonderful thing about seasons is that they always change. After winter always comes spring. You’re not doing anything wrong and you’re not alone. You’re right on track and right where you’re supposed to be.
We are all going through something even though some of us conceal it better than others. Never underestimate how your words of encouragement are going to brighten someone else’s day. You would never know some of the hardships I’ve endured over the last year but my faith has been the rock that has kept me smiling during the most critical time of my life.
As women, we share a sisterhood that cannot be broken unless we allow it to be. Let’s stop being so judgmental of one another because you never know what that sister is going through. I’ve learned that when you’re highly critical of others it’s because you’re highly critical of yourself. So give yourself a break.
Stop running around like a chicken with your head cut off trying to make your dream marriage, dream job, dream home, or dream business happen all in your own strength and timing. You’re not going to miss it, you’re not doing anything wrong; it just may not be your season yet. And if the sister next to you is in her season, instead of getting worried or jealous celebrate her with full understanding that you’re right where you’re supposed to be!
XOXO,
Maria I. Melendez
@embraceherlegacy
