You ever had one of those moments where someone kindly “tells you about yourself”? And you really had absolutely no idea that you were doing anything wrong only to have that person caringly tell you otherwise.
That’s why I believe that we should surround ourselves with people who will be honest and tell us what we need to hear and not what we always want to hear. The latter sounds nicer but how can you become better if you cannot accept constructive criticism?
Well, that’s not what I want to focus on here as we’ll save that one for a later date. I want to share with you something that has been revealed to me and hopefully you will refrain from making some of the mistakes I’ve been making.
So the other day I’m chatting with a good friend and telling him how I was feeling a little down because certain things were not going the way I anticipated. He turned around and asked me this, “If God parted the seas in front of you, would you still complain?” Shocked I replied, “Absolutely not! Why? Am I complaining? I’m not complaining, I’m just saying how I could do things better or how things can be better.”
He looked back at me and simply nodded, “Yes, you are complaining. Do you know how many people wish they could be in your position? Do you know how many people wish they could be their own boss? Do you know how many people would love to sit in the middle of the afternoon and have this type of conversation instead of going back to work? You sound like an Israelite.”
He then proceeded to tell me the great story of God miraculously splitting the seas for the Israelites as they ran from their enslavers, closed back the seas when the Egyptians tried to run after them, and then provided manna (bread) out of the sky every day for them to eat and THEY STILL COMPLAINED!
My heart sank. “Am I being an Israelite right now?” I thought.
Whether or not you believe the miracles of God is not the point here. The point that I want us to understand is that no matter how good things may be going we have a tendency to focus on how they could be better. It’s our human inclination to want more money, want more opportunities, want more vacation time or want more things. When we focus so much of what we do not have, then we tend to arrive at a state of contempt with what we do have. We may regrettably take for granted how far we have come or what blessings we already attain.
And the deceitful part about complaining is that we may not realize when we are doing it. I thought I was focusing on “growth” and “more opportunities” and little did I know that I was minimizing the extent to which I have already grown and all the opportunities I already have. Yes me, the woman who just announced her first published book release, which is one of my life’s dreams still found some way to focus on “what more can I get?”
I am in no way shape or form telling you to accept mediocrity in your life or to remain stagnant as we are all supposed to grow, achieve greater things and live our lives at different levels and stages. There is nothing wrong with boldly pursuing your dreams but you do not want the journey to control and take over you.
No one likes being around a “complaining Jane” as I like to call it. You know those people who have to find something wrong with everything, who always want something to be bigger and better. We have to learn to be content with what we have while on the pursuit of what we desire. Sometimes complaining can take our focus away from the beauty that lies within the journey and even delay our blessings. Choosing not to complain is making the conscious decision to enjoy your journey and not allow your journey to overtake you.
The truth of the matter is that you will be as happy as you are now than when you get the $1`million. Happiness is a choice and if you are not happy now, then you will not be happy then.
I believe that God is good and every day we can find something to truly be thankful for while learning to tone down on the complaining. I encourage you to do the following exercise for the next 21 days.
Every day, I want you to get up in the morning and before you get out of the bed tell yourself that it will be a great day and that something good will happen to you and through you. Then I want you to take the time to tell yourself five things that you can be grateful for and finally tell yourself that no matter what happens throughout the day that God is with you.
Why 21 days? Because studies show that it takes 21 days of consistent behavior to change a bad habit
Changing your perspective can change your world.
XOXO,
Maria I. Melendez
@embraceherlegacy
